Healing from Trauma as a Member of the LGBTQIA+ Community

Hi there! I'm Lindsay Cade, a licensed trauma and relationship therapist that specializes in supporting the queer community. As a member of the LGBTQ community myself, I understand firsthand the uninvited challenges that come with identifying as queer. For anyone identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, or any other non-heterosexual or cisgender identity healing from trauma comes with its unique challenges. Unfortunately, many individuals within our community have experienced trauma as a result of societal discrimination, violence, or other forms of oppression. If you are struggling with mental health issues related to social stress, traumatic stress or posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it is important to know that you are not alone. Healing from trauma as a member of the LGBTQ community can be a complex process, and it is possible with the right support and resources. Throughout this post, I will use the terms "LGBTQ" and "LGBTQIA+" interchangeably to ensure that the search algorithms are happy. By no means do we intend to exclude anyone. For our intersex, asexual, and two-spirit family, we see you and we are here for you.

Trigger Warning: This post discusses trauma, societal discrimination, violence, suicide, self-harm, and other mental health issues. If you are having a mental health emergency or need immediate support, please contact the Colorado Crisis Services by phone at 1-844-493-8255 or Text “Talk” to 38255 or visit http://coloradocrisisservices.org/ and click “Chat Now”, or contact the Trans Lifeline (crisis support by and for trans people) by phone at 877-565-8860

Understanding trauma and the LGBT community

Understanding trauma and the LGBT community is crucial to providing comprehensive care and support to the needs of our population. While high rates of substance abuse and mental health disorders are well-documented, these statistics only scratch the surface of the experiences of the LGBTQ community. At its core, the prevalence of trauma within our community, in part, stems from living in a world that is often hostile and violent towards queer and trans individuals. For example, the Human Rights Campaign in 2023 for the first time in its 40+ year history, declared a National State of Emergency for LGBTQ+ Americans. This declaration was in response to the over 550 anti-LGBTQ+ bills introduced into state houses across the country, more than 80 of which were passed into law.

Trauma in the LGBT community can manifest in many ways, including PTSD symptoms, relationship distress, isolation, and substance use. It can be experienced on an individual level, such as in the aftermath of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or sexual violence, or on a larger scale, such as collective trauma caused by discrimination or hate crimes. Understanding the vast array of ways that trauma impacts the LGBTQ community is essential to providing appropriate care and support to those who have been impacted. It is time to move beyond the statistics and truly see the beauty and complexity of our community. 

Examples of LGBTQ trauma

In the LGBT community, many queers folks know what it is like to walk into a restaurant in an unfamiliar place and feel the eyes of the patrons like lasers on their backs. Our bodies know, instinctively, how to protect ourselves. Our shoulders tense, our heart rate increases, our blood rushes to our hands and feet instinctively without thought. If we are with our partners, we might make space between us, averting our eyes from one another, those parts of us that cannot hide our love. We know the tension in our backs, the widening of our eyes, and the quickening of our pace as our ears overhear a group of people behind us making homophobic comments. We know the crushing weight in our chest and squeeze around our throats as the priest wraps up his Sunday sermon with a homophobic comment. We know the burning flood of tears behind our eyelids at our sibling's baby shower as her friend shares a transphobic belief.

Some of us have experienced threaten death or violence against our bodies because of who we are. Most of us don't even shutter at the sound of violent messages any more, because we have learned how to survive in a violent world. Sexual and gender minorities are more likely to experience psychological trauma, sexual violence/sexual assault, hate crimes, and other potentially traumatic events such as the compounding impact of chronic minority stress.

Even the places where we go to care for our bodies can be a source of stress or trauma. LGBTQ people often experience discrimination in health care settings. It is sadly not uncommon for health care providers to lack the training and understanding to provide inclusive and affirming care.

We know what it is like to not be able to envision ourselves into the future, because we've been taught there is no future for us. Alas, there is hope, and I will come back around to this later on. For now, please know you deserve to move through and deconstruct the learnings of past trauma so that you can write new narratives for yourself.

Some examples of LGBTQ trauma can include:

Childhood abuse

Childhood abuse is pervasive throughout the world. However, LGBTQ children and youth are more likely to experience childhood sexual and physical abuse due to societal and religious discrimination and bias.

Hate crimes

In 2023, hate crimes against LGBTQ+ folks increased in the United States at an alarming rate.

Intimate partner violence

Intimate partner violence (IPV) and domestic violence can occur in all interpersonal relationships regardless of sexuality. However, transgender individuals are much more likely to experience sexual and physical IPV than cisgender individuals.

Bullying

LGBTQ youth experience exponentially more bullying than their straight peers. Oftentimes, bullying is invalidated and brushed off as not dangerous, but this simply is not true. Bullying is violent and leads to violence and should be treated with the seriousness that it is.

Health disparities

LGBTQ people are at greater risk of worse health outcomes than straight-identified people due to many factors, namely gender and sexual minority based discrimination and bias in the medical system. This discrimination occurs on the individual health care provider level all the way up to the state and federal government level and have profound impacts on LGBT health.

Evictions and housing insecurity

Housing and shelter is a basic human need and every state has legal protections against unfair evictions. However, not every state extends those legal protections to LGBTQ people or those with gender minority status, increasing the incidence of unfair housing discrimination and evictions. For example, 17% of sexual minority adults experienced homelessness in their lives compared to 6% in the cisgender, straight population.

The effects of trauma on the LGBTQIA+ community

The LGBTQIA+ community faces a multitude of challenges stemming from trauma. From external societal hatred to personal experiences of discrimination and violence, these adversities shape our perceptions of ourselves and those around us. Internalized homophobia and transphobia are common burdens we all carry, impacting both our own mental and physical health and well-being.

A recent 2023 report highlighted research evidence of the profound impact of early and enduring trauma, such as stigma and internalized biases, on the long-term behavioral health of LGBTQ individuals.

Traumatic events can have lasting repercussions, which has been studied and well documented by the minority stress model, the minority stressors experienced by BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ individuals. This includes facing discrimination, prejudice, and fear of harm or rejection. Such trauma can lead to serious psychiatric disorders, profound feelings of despair and hopelessness, sometimes resulting in self-harm or suicide, or increased stress and conflict in relationships.

Recognizing the toll trauma takes on the LGBTQIA+ community is crucial. Offering support and resources to those in need is essential in addressing these pervasive challenges.

Experiencing trauma can be difficult for anyone, but it can be especially challenging for members of the LGBTQ community. Some signs and symptoms that someone may be experiencing trauma can include:

Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty breathing and feelings of detachment or hypervigilance. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) provides a full description and list of symptoms.

Relationship Distress

Symptoms of acute stress disorder and PTSD include increased and persistent negative feelings. These oftentimes impact our outlook of the world, increasing our negative view of the people around us and the way we view ourselves, which naturally causes conflict and stress in relationships.

Isolation

When we don't feel well on the inside, the last thing we want to do is spend time with others. Many who have experienced a traumatic event, events isolate from friends and family. Sometimes this is sudden, but sometimes it happens gradually.

Substance Use

We all have coping skills we utilize to deal with stress. After high stress events, like traumatic events, individuals may turn to substances as a coping mechanism to numb themselves or to feel again.

Recognizing these signs and symptoms is an important step in supporting those who have faced trauma, and helping them to begin the healing process.

Healing from trauma as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community

Leaning on support networks can be one part of healing. Another part of healing oftentimes can include therapy work. Many queer folks find reaching out to a mental health professional can be an important step on their healing journey. Finding an LGBT- and gender-affirming therapy practice can be incredibly healing for members of the queer community. You can expect at Rooted Acorn Counseling to be met with an affirming stance. This affirming stance can be effective across the lifespan from LGBT youth and young adults to older LGBT adults. Part of the therapy process from an LGBTQ or gender-affirming centered approach involves a redefinition of gender and/or sexual orientation identities. This process also involves folks developing new skills in tracking the impact of homophobia and stigma. Through this new relationship with themselves, folks can make choices no longer based in erroneous beliefs of the heterosexist, cisgendered world we are members of, and instead use their unique values and goals as guidance.

Healing from trauma is possible and real, and it is important to know your therapist has the trauma skills necessary to facilitate healing and the cultural understanding to not retraumatize throughout the process. Healing from trauma looks differently for each person. Though generally speaking, the traumatized body has its own timeline, and I work with each individual to honor and respect and progress only with consent from a person's internal world.

Some core modalities I use in my work as a trauma therapist are: 1) EMDR; 2) Internal Family Systems; and 3) Emotionally Focused Therapy. These therapy models are frameworks and provide structure for trauma therapy. However, each individual's experience of trauma is unique and requires therapy to be tailed for your specific needs and goals. If you want individualized treatment, send me a message to schedule a free initial consultation!

Before you go though, I want to share some self-care strategies you can do at home between trauma therapy sessions. These strategies are simple and focus on the basics of daily living because when our trauma gets triggered, the body takes over and it's really hard to employ complex strategies and practices. For all of my clients, I remind them to stick to these basics and to reach out to me if they need extra support getting their feet under them between sessions.

1) Stay hydrated

Your body needs water and electrolytes to move nutrients to where they need to go. Doing trauma therapy is hard work for the body, and it is important to drink water throughout the day. If you feel dehydrated and thirsty, try drinking a bottle of electrolytes during the day. Don't over do it though. Start with one electrolyte tablet for the day and see how your body feels the next day. Adjust as needed.

2) Feed yourself

Your body needs nutrients. If you are hungry or not getting the nutrients you need throughout the day, you're going to feel awful and have low energy and mood. Eat a balanced diet of simple carbs, complex carbs, fats, and proteins every day. If you don't know what your body needs or where to start, consult a queer dietician! They are wonderful specialists who will help you understand how to care for your body's nutritional needs.

3) Move your body

Notice I didn't say exercise! Though exercise can certainly be a powerful tool for self-care and self-regulation, the main idea I want my clients to focus on is to move your body in ways it needs. Sometimes this is rocking yourself to activate natural soothing motions and calm the central nervous system. Sometimes this is taking a walk or stretching.

4) Be gentle with yourself

Some of these things might be really hard to do or they may be the last thing you mind feels like doing. I get that. It's okay if you can't do all of these things. Start small. Try to focus on one strategy like rocking yourself. See how that goes and try another strategy tomorrow. Try to share gentle words with yourself like, "You got this. You're okay. You can do this." If you can't think of your own gentle words for yourself, that's okay. Try to remember your therapist's words they have shared about you. Repeat those phrases to yourself and use them as needed until your own words become easier to find.

Trauma is also a wordless story our body tells itself about what is safe and what is a threat. ― Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies

You may be wondering why a mental health therapist is talking about the body. It's because trauma lives in the body. It is a bodily experience. When doing trauma therapy, any activity you do to take care of your body is a powerful act of trauma healing. Caring for your body helps it heal trauma.

Final thoughts on LGBTQ trauma and healing

Remember, being queer or LGBTQ is not a mental health issue. Interacting with and feeling the hate and violence of society causes mental health issues - these are the impacts of minority stress. If you identify within the LGBTQIA+ community, there is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful just the way you are and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

Navigating this world is hard as hell. It can be isolating and overwhelming. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stuck in your life, we can help. Reach out today to schedule your free initial consultation to see if therapy is right for you.

For a free initial consultation to see if trauma therapy is right for you, message me today!